It's hard to come back to a place of normal. After a while, normal feels stranger than when every thing went wrong and you were left with sorrow and emptiness as you try to piece your life back together. There is no choice, there is no direction to go but up. That is a good place to be, because this time you can determine with the help of God “I can make it,” and instead of wallowing in your state of affairs you use them as building blocks.
We all fail. It's what you do with the lessons failure brings, what it teaches you, as you move on to become stronger and owlish in the future. There is enough despair in the world that you can stay under the circumstances forever or you can set a new goal and anticipate future success.
It reminds me of the woman (in fact several women) in the Bible, that had nothing left to live for and was prepared to die along with her son after she made them a little cake with some oil. Elijah enters the scene and asks her to feed him... first. She tells him what she is about to do and he says two important words, “Fear not,” and then proceeds to tell her to make a the cake for him first.
This is kind of funny because if you know anything about Elijah at all, you know he himself had reached a point where he prayed that he might die. He was afraid of a queen named Jezebel. So when we think of the Bible as a bunch of old stories, we need to look again and find every instance where what was happening parallels our lives and use it to improve ours.
Nothing can be harder than being in the pits and looking to God for answers and believing in what he is telling us, but if you are ever to mature in your faith it has to go beyond attending church and hoping things will change. You have to find answers for yourself because no one knows you better than you... and God of course.
While we do not have any prophets running around prophesying over us, telling us what God will do for us because of our obedience, we do have the Bible which is the place we need to go when anyone tells us what to do. If it does not line up with what God says, toss it away.
For this is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says: ‘The jar of flour will not be used up and the jug of oil will not run dry until the day the Lord sends rain on the land.’” 1 Kings 17:4, NIV
It happened exactly as Elijah told the woman. She needed food for the table and her family. Because she did for God first, she was rewarded and blessed. I'll bet that set the tongues wagging about where the woman who had no husband was getting her provisions from. As a woman of faith, you will learn to relish the things God provides for you on a daily basis and it doesn't matter what people think.
One thing to remember is God isn't keeping score of how often you fail, he is noting how often you are trusting him to get you through the night, another day or the week. He will encourage you in many small ways by doing things or showing you things that only you know about. He is an amazing God who loves each of us intimately. He touches our heart when no one else can.
The widow was destitute and had no one. There was no agency to provide her with funds to tide her over until she was on her feet and no morale support from those going through the same thing. But the one thing she did have was a belief in God.
Despite her situation, God's grace came through for her by way of provision for her and her family. He will do the same for you and please don't loose heart if it doesn't come instantly or in the way you thought it would. God also likes to surprise us and often fulfills his Word in ways we never thought of or restores us back to a place where we are able once more to provide for ourselves.
Restores always? No. I'm not claiming to look into God's crystal ball and see what is in store. Sometimes we are in need of nothing but spending time with him. Sometimes it is a place where we learn empathy for others so we can help them in their time of need.
The words of Paul in Philippians 4:11 come to mind, where he speaks of contentment no matter what circumstances he found himself in... something he learned by both having and not having.
God forgives us through his son Jesus Christ and once forgiven we begin on a path of learning about our relationship with him by what flashes before us and by periods of darkness where it's like we are abandoned by him. Both are good places to be and experience because life isn't just about loving the highs we experience, but by trusting him in the lows too.
Contentment is what brings us to a place of normal and a solid foundation where we can be unafraid to acknowledge our weaknesses and move ahead in the strength of the Lord. Do you delight yourself in what God has to say or are you looking for excuses of why it can't work?
Don't let fear stop you. The Lord is waiting for you to come back.